catch me if you can

After all this time this is me and you, and the illusion turning into delusion.
It's a journey under a grey sky, a grey pavement, a soon to become a grey soul in search of the brightness and the truth that there used to be. Not a universal truth so much debated and conceptualized to favour one side or the other, depending on which part of History u r: the one who makes it or the one who writes it.
I am trying so hard to escape all this determination. I am desperate to find my a private and single truth; to see my life from my own prism.
I want to isolate myself from the construction and textualization of my persona. Let me smoke this 10 pounds note if I want to. Let's dispossess all the worhtless things from its imposed value.
Who wants a bruised heart? Who needs one if none cares for it?
When the act of breathing becomes too mechanical, when there is no more search of God, no more answers to feel curious about... When the today finds you wrapped in blankets that are not even yours, not wanting to open the curtains to see the sun, no wanting to go outside to feel the rain in your skin, it's maybe time to move, to keep on moving before the virus becomes lethal.
All I want is you, I used to say. I guess there is something of truth in that statement, but it kills me that "you" does not exits, that never becomes materialized. That there are so many potential yous walking the street right now and none of them turns me on.
All there is is fiction, paper lovers dying before my eyes, knights in shining armours fainting at my will, turning into ashes before my fire reaches them.
So I hold on to this music. To the hypothetical moment when all it's over on this paper, when my river dries and my ocean turns into seas of sand that I can walk to leave this island of dreams and tears, of happiness never shared, of solitude breaking my skin.
There will be a land where freedom is at hand, where the skies, even when grey, give some hope to face all the tomorrows to come.
The explorer inside me wants to reach the place where we all are less captivated by luminous boxes where everything is learnt, where they build up minds to be what they want them to be, where we shape our thoughts trapped in the reduced view of the world of those who claim they understand it.
Let me loose of the tight conventions. I was raised to believe in myself, not in what you want me to believe in. I was raised wild, not attached to the faked responsibilities you want me to commit to.
Catch me if you can.
Stop running, can't you see you are mine? Trust me when I whisper this, so none else in the room can read my kiss in these words. You are mine, how could you ever doubt it? Give in, because everything is yours from this moment on, for this love will save us from the world we don't believe in. Isn't it great to have each other when the lights are off, when we just dont' give a fuck about what they'd say?
We are. That's all I ever wanted. Wahtever it brings.