Made for something better.

Lately, I find difficult to focus on one subject. My mind wonders about, looking for new ideas, or words, or things that catch my imagination. One spark and one match to make the world entirely mine once again.
Maybe if I smoke another cigarette and look out the window into Coram St, all the noise that comes from there in this warm Friday evening will be in tune with my own melody.
It's kind of boring having to dance it alone, but since you've never asked, I guess this is the only option I have been left with. So I have to make the most out of it.
It's only a matter of getting used to this: To drink from an empty glass, like Tom Cruise's character in Interview with the Vampire did: Pretending for the rest from time to time, and from me the rest of it.
It's a matter of perspective too, because things change continuously, the same way we do. Things also stop having meaning and what before was crucial for my existence, today is only a nuisance; today is a face in the crowd and I don't feel the urge to rescue it from there.
Where is that cigarette? Where are your matches? You know I never carry them. You know this is only me playing with your patience. At least, that's what you think. Because this is me living as I always wanted to: Feeling the picture at my will, not at yours.
It's difficult to get tired of staring at the eyes of a city. However, I am feeling full of you, like if your messages were overflowing all my mental and physical borders, my skin and my thoughts. I can't take anything else from this, specially in this evening of thick hot air and grey skies that never get to show us their stars.
I drunk enough from your fountain of lies and your false promises. I am not made for the collapse of passion and the fakeness you inflicted upon those who sin when trying to imitate your grace.
I am fed up with people who don't know me at all but presume they do. I am tired of their arrogance and invention of excuses. How simple would it be without them? Who ask for them anyway? I am not interested in hearing the same words over and over. Shut their mouths, if you please, for I have no need. My ears are sealed to them forever.

Are we the observers, the ones who scrutinize and change you, or are we your puppets, being used and charmed by your spell? I am indeed the latest. Driven by a force bigger than my own. I let my self go as I enjoy being carried away wherever you want to take me. But you know this won't last forever. You are aware that I'll leave you one day, so you try, like we all do when we become lovers, not to get used to the presence, to the bad habit of having someone who really cares, for their future absence is the greatest fear for which no words have been written yet.

Let's just live this moment whilst it lasts and the cigarette perishes in my fingers and my mouth whispers the words I created just for you. We don't care for tomorrow; all its joys and sorrows are not worth what we have here and now. For now we have each other and nothing else matters.

It's exciting to see how you surrender to my attention, to my touch and willingness to know you. I did not come all this way to find myself, for I always knew who I was. You just reminded me.
Above all, I wanted to find you and let you unveil what you had for me.
And now that I think I know, I must go before this freshness expires.
I will see your greens and blues from the window of my memories and certain smells will remind me of your rain over the city ponds. Certain eyes will see in mine the track of your soul imprinted on my skin where your name has being tattooed. And certain wind will mess with my hair in the same way yours used to.

So let's fight those who try to defeat us in a senseless battle. Let's kill their will to set us apart and show them we are made for something better than their big aspirations. Leave them to them, and let's hope they'll be as happy as I am now.