Jackson

Jackson.
This song was in my head all day long; I couldn't stop singing it.
It obviously made me think of you. How curious...My memory fighting against the inevitable oblivion,, stubbornly resisting against it.
I wonder if I still exist in your mind; if, by surprise, I appear in any of your thoughts at any point of your days or nights, when you less expect it, while you prepare to go to work or when a random song plays on the radio...; most probably you have forgotten about the short distance that played against us since the first moment we met. You might have forgotten about me. If that's the case, nothing of this should have sense. But, the problem is that all this refuses to leave me in peace. It throwed me up to heaven and now I am in my solo crashing down to the ground.
You'll never know how hard I tried to kill that distance that ended up by killing me. You won't know how much I fought the fear to cross the border of few steps that kept us apart. Such a small distance...I would never had guessed it took all that courage to face and defeat.
But that's a small confession for a dangerous mind that will dare to keep it secret, away from suspicion and bad judgements. That's a confession for time's mind.
Of all the few moments we shared, I do remember one in particular: You, pressing your head against my shoulder in a very sweet gesture that made me want to hold you and never let you go. That moment, like all good and magical moments, lasted only for a whisper, but i knew I'll always remember it.
When it passed, I thought my eyes had revealed to everyone in that room the brutal desire I felt for you. I thought it was obvious, because I felt my soul flooding the air, stopping time, crashing the words they were being freed in the space. It seemed to me that the beating of my heart was marching like crazy, calling to war...But none moved. Not even me. I got paralysed. I was scared to break the spell, to bursts into flames ignited by your lighlty touch... That's how much I needed...That's how much you gave me with don't even knowing.

Some times my hands long so bad for your touch that it hurts and nothing or none can save me from that pain. I have to breath calmly into the night and embrace that memory, sing it a lullaby till it goes to sleep and allows me to rest. Some days I miss you so much that...I just wish you were here. And there's nothing I can do about it.