Tomorrow is a dream away.

I can't get over myself..but I wonder if out there is there anyone else left to love.
I guess that is very tiring trying all the time to keep on trying but I can't leave right now. There is still one more year ahead and from here it looks pretty difficult. And after that the incognito... But a bit of suspense never killed anyone.
In days like today I miss going back home and having my mum asking me how am I. Things look busy back in Spain. When I called home this evening she sounded very happy and went on and on about the painting in the house...She loves these kind of things, and it felt just wrong to spoil her moment by talking about the office job, the stress at Uni, the English weather/food.
I don't' even try with my father. His TOC is getting obviously worse though harmless. Still, is complicated trying to maintain any serious conversation with him. Our realities do not coexist in the same universe and I wonder when that started to happen. I used to think he was the cleverest man on earth, but when I grow up, things started to fall into a "realistic" perspective. Or so they seem. But I guess I am wrong. As my granny says, when u'll have our age..
She always complains that she cannot hear properly, but she never misses a thing I tell her.
She's always right regardless her complains and stuborness. I wonder how was she at her 31's. I am sure she was much better and settled than I am now despite the times were harder. I don't understand why all has to be difficult when it shouldn't. It should be so easy. I mean...All looks pretty shit!
Maybe today is just one of those days when no matter how hard you try to put things right or how many sugars you put in that coffee....Still bitter. The dark clouds do not let me see the sun.
But tomorrow is a dream away... And it's time to sleep.