I am still here

Las night I dreamt I was going back. Back to the past, to the places I used to roam, to the known alleys and my missed views. But I had a weird unpleasent feeling. I didn't want to be there being aware I had given up what I am destinied to achieve. Therefore all the places I visited were there to remind me of my weackness. Still, I was so tempted to go there. I am still tempted. All the time, even though the nights are full of noises hiden in the fog, in the bubbles of the never ending rivers of beer, in the rays of sun coming out form the strangers' heads. All I want is here and now. At leats it's all I have. So I guess it is kind of absurd to hold on to my dear freedom if I dont' allow her to take me into its magical world of "Do what you want because you can. Be wherever you want to be because that is your place on earth". I guess I needed some fuel, some answers, some...light to clear up the doubts. My youthness remains alive in this constant search for that something in the streets I don't know, which names I cannot even pronounce. My youthness is gettign older and wiser evn when I am loosing my famous patience. The one who never abandonded me, stubborn as she is. I am loosing it waiting for that moment that comes and goes like the wind of this island. One day it brings me closer to extasis, and the next one I am back in the road aagin, alone, going nowhere, feeling lost. What do we want? Why do we let it go when we have it? Now it's too late. I am here, I won't go back. Think of all the things we've lost. I just think of all the things ahead of me. I don't look back in anger or sadness. All those things I miss,...I am not sure if I even miss them at all. I only see the road that goes on and on, reminding me that certain stops must be taken, but not for too long. What this one will be? I won't allow her to conquer me. Who dares to conquer the wind? I'll drink from her mouth but in the morning I'll be gone, thinking of her and how it construced me. Watching the time passing by. Mick, as always, was right: It is on our side. Because I am no longer in a rush. But I am not waiting either. Here I am. The way I am. The way I want to be.