His arms wrapped around me, sucking my life, obstructing the sunshine.
I am saved from the world when I rest locked in this fiction of warmness without the object of my desire. Now I only have the past, like a shadow, whispering sensually to the ears of my imagination that we are together once more, like it used to be. Like it should be.
I made of your body my conquered territory. You were as mine as none will ever be.
No words will describe the killing passion that devoured us in countless days when our love opened like a ripped fruit ready to feast the hunger.
So now you tell me how it works to live like this, because the pills the doctor gave me are good for nothing. Sticky memories like fingers who before knew where was the secret key to paradise...have become hunters that hurt my soul and scar ch my skin like the violent winter wind.
Sleep well, I won't ever close my eyes again. I don't want to dream again for fear of finding you in my subconscious.
Be happy my clever one. I wont learn new lessons. You taught me all I wanted to know. And this pain you left me with is taking me where I always wanted to be: away from the door were we used to sit to count dying stars. I can touch them know. I followed them where the universe disappears, where you didn't dare to come.
I drunk the poison of the others...We went down by it, star crossed lover we were.
There are more chapters, Light, many more we must write. We must keep on, get together were others have never been before.
We must suffer a bit longer, lingering in the absence of the other till this feeling turns into its opposite, like the dialectical materiality of love, coming to life from the same source from which its destroyment arose.
A bit longer yet... Imagine this is like disappearing into the abstract pleasure of a little death. We'll come back the same way we come back tangled in the transpiration of the carrier...succumbing to the oblivion of regrets and all the words that loose their meaning in that instant to live for, to long for the rest of our lives.
Never apart. Not a moment more.
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
All those psychos
I am thinking in all those characters that are impossible for me to forget. Once u let them in...That's it: They introduce in your bones a new kind of fear to the beast in society.
I could mention, ie., Christin Bale, Jack Nicholson, Anthony Perkins, Anthony Hopkins (gosh, his Hannibal was like nothing I've seen before)
In "No Country for Old Men" Mr Bardem played a psycho who, in the place of a soul, had only obsession and a chilly emptiness full of credibility.
I would like to say that that was the performance of his life, not just because it won him his first Oscar but because in that movie Javier is simply brilliant.
But, being following him since I am 15, I must say his work for the cinema made in Spain is as good as the one he delivered for the yanks,therefore the "world".
He was mesmerising in "Dias Contados", in "Los Lunes al Sol", in "Mar Adentro" and in my favourite one: Benito, the macho man who made everything with a touch of class, the help of Julio Iglesias and... bollocks. "Con Dos cojones", as his character would say. Actually, I can't wait for him to get a second Oscar because after "Huevos de Oro", for me, Bardem is the man who likes to have two of everything. Sorry Pe.. tie him close...Just in case...
Today I've seen a psycho as disturbing as his.
Casey Affleck made me shiver in his personification of a sheriff out of law in "The Killer Inside Me". This film has the most shocking and disturbing scenes I've seen since Lars Von Trier's "The Antichrist".
I am still wondering if its that violence has a purpose and all I can think of is in the lack of light in Affleck's eyes, his facial rictus, his understanding of the cool man who though he had everything under control; under his evil will, everyone becomes a puppet, a victim of his lost rationality.
Sometimes a story only makes sense thanks to the rhythm insulated by the actors who bring it to life. "The Killer Inside Me" must be one of those cases because I don't really get it though I know that in art not everything has to have a fixed determination. Which makes of this movie a brave approach to the mind of a man who is terrifying, whose life is sum of days and his love ones material of the killer instinct that possesses him.
I wouldn't say this film is made to entertain, unless someones has funny tastes. So maybe I'll watch it again...to search for the meaning and "enjoy" once more Casey's job. Unforgettable.
I could mention, ie., Christin Bale, Jack Nicholson, Anthony Perkins, Anthony Hopkins (gosh, his Hannibal was like nothing I've seen before)
In "No Country for Old Men" Mr Bardem played a psycho who, in the place of a soul, had only obsession and a chilly emptiness full of credibility.
I would like to say that that was the performance of his life, not just because it won him his first Oscar but because in that movie Javier is simply brilliant.
But, being following him since I am 15, I must say his work for the cinema made in Spain is as good as the one he delivered for the yanks,therefore the "world".
He was mesmerising in "Dias Contados", in "Los Lunes al Sol", in "Mar Adentro" and in my favourite one: Benito, the macho man who made everything with a touch of class, the help of Julio Iglesias and... bollocks. "Con Dos cojones", as his character would say. Actually, I can't wait for him to get a second Oscar because after "Huevos de Oro", for me, Bardem is the man who likes to have two of everything. Sorry Pe.. tie him close...Just in case...
Today I've seen a psycho as disturbing as his.
Casey Affleck made me shiver in his personification of a sheriff out of law in "The Killer Inside Me". This film has the most shocking and disturbing scenes I've seen since Lars Von Trier's "The Antichrist".
I am still wondering if its that violence has a purpose and all I can think of is in the lack of light in Affleck's eyes, his facial rictus, his understanding of the cool man who though he had everything under control; under his evil will, everyone becomes a puppet, a victim of his lost rationality.
Sometimes a story only makes sense thanks to the rhythm insulated by the actors who bring it to life. "The Killer Inside Me" must be one of those cases because I don't really get it though I know that in art not everything has to have a fixed determination. Which makes of this movie a brave approach to the mind of a man who is terrifying, whose life is sum of days and his love ones material of the killer instinct that possesses him.
I wouldn't say this film is made to entertain, unless someones has funny tastes. So maybe I'll watch it again...to search for the meaning and "enjoy" once more Casey's job. Unforgettable.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Aaron
OK...I know...Let me explain. I didn't go all Madonna in here, but I think this pic is a perfect illustration that could help me to explain my crushes for the Gemini without using too many words. It's very scientific and let's admit it...So Charming!!
Apparently, like me, Aaron likes strong emotions. I guess that becoming a father at the tender age of 20 is the strongest of all. For sure I wont match him in that one.
Moving to the "idolatration for good reasons" part, in my humble opinion, his role as Lennon in "Nowhere Boy" was simply mind blowing. Powerful and touchy. The physical resemblance is not very accurate, but Sam Taylor-Wood was right in trying to find someone who captured the wilderness of a young genius as Lennon was. And he does.
Behind those sweet blue eyes there is something unbelievable mysterious that burst to explode and blast us all. He hides an old soul able to trap me in the ocean of his promises and talent. Sweet and wild...Very Gemini indeed: Two characters in one body...Extremely tempting for those addictive to solve the quiz of a deep and ambiguous personality.
His young looks don't stop him from delivering the image of a beast to be tamed. Who could!!
The truth is I can't wait to see more of this young gentleman...I mean..Professionally...I mean...You know what I mean!!! I am gonn aleave it here before I get all confused.
For the record, no wonder mature women today are falling more and more for youngsters. If all the pack comes like this...I am going illegal! Catch me if u can.
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Let it be?!
"She's fucking 6 feet tall!!" After this I wonder if I should learn some basic kick boxing or take the comment as a complement.
Nevermind, what it really matters in here is my simple question...Where these people come from? Liliputiland??!!! Get lost, though I guess that that might be asking too much to so little intellect.
Jesus man, one day I am gonna run out of patient and I am gonna loose it good in the old Galician way: I'm gonna send them all "al Carallo", which is much worse than send them to hell. That place is too classy. These idiots need something more postmodernist.
To be honest, It's been like this for a while, so I guess that I should be used to it, but I am not. t's strange how difficult results to get used to stupidity when I live surrounded by it.
I have to keep on reminding myself that violence is not the answer. John, don't take it bad, but in this case, I am afraid love is not either.
What's with men that have an obsession with women who are taller than them? With women who are whatever more than them? Do I walk around crying out loud: Oh my God!! Your dick is so tiny...Plus...You are just too small!!!?? No.
A kind of complex? Well, if that's the case, feed your ego somewhere else then, losers. Small losers, for the record.
What a world we live in. Difference is in demand, it is embraced in funny ways, but at the moment of truth, they don't let you be different in peace.
In this one I have to be with the Beatles... Let it be. Not the answer, but at least, a simple solution.
Nevermind, what it really matters in here is my simple question...Where these people come from? Liliputiland??!!! Get lost, though I guess that that might be asking too much to so little intellect.
Jesus man, one day I am gonna run out of patient and I am gonna loose it good in the old Galician way: I'm gonna send them all "al Carallo", which is much worse than send them to hell. That place is too classy. These idiots need something more postmodernist.
To be honest, It's been like this for a while, so I guess that I should be used to it, but I am not. t's strange how difficult results to get used to stupidity when I live surrounded by it.
I have to keep on reminding myself that violence is not the answer. John, don't take it bad, but in this case, I am afraid love is not either.
What's with men that have an obsession with women who are taller than them? With women who are whatever more than them? Do I walk around crying out loud: Oh my God!! Your dick is so tiny...Plus...You are just too small!!!?? No.
A kind of complex? Well, if that's the case, feed your ego somewhere else then, losers. Small losers, for the record.
What a world we live in. Difference is in demand, it is embraced in funny ways, but at the moment of truth, they don't let you be different in peace.
In this one I have to be with the Beatles... Let it be. Not the answer, but at least, a simple solution.
FW: Envío de artículo en ELPAIS.com.
To: rolli2006@hotmail.com
Subject: Envío de artículo en ELPAIS.com.
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2010 10:22:20 +0200
From: titulares@elpais.com
|
Friday, 23 July 2010
Que nada ni nadie cambien tu rumbo
Algun adolescente escribio en el muro de un colegio sudamericano que Igualdad es igual a Libertad. Y que haya muchos que les nieguen a los nignos el poder de la oratoria!!
Me gustaria que unos cuantos adultos por etsa parte del mundo compartiesen la pasion por una ecuacion tan simple de entender, pero tan dificil de llevar a puerto.
Supongo que es cuestion de fe. De fe y de vision en un mundo, ya no digo mejor, pero si distinto. Que tenemos que perder de todos modos? El big Size de McDonalds? Pensaba que Michael Moore lo habia despopularizado.Aunque supongo que hara falta mucho mas que una critica sarcastica y aguda para lavarnos el cerebro y limpiarlo de tanta baratija que nos vendireron por pura ganga.
Hemos convertido nuestros mercados de calidad en un todo a 100. Para que tanta fijacion con la apariencia, con los escandalos de los famosos, con los coches que solo nos llevan de un sitio a otro, con el ultimo grito en la pasarela Cibeles, con la boda de Pe y el divorcio de Maria de los Palotes? Oh! Sabiais ya que Geroge Clooney se casa? Me imagino que algun gay desquiciado estara tajandose las venas en este momento, no por el matrionio en si, sino por lo real de la evidencia: Masculinidad suprema que simplemente quiso disfrutar de la solteria.
Bueno, poniendole fin al cuento sin perdices, me imagino a gays y a descerebradas que en sus fueros muy internos ansiaban ser princesas. Dont worry babies...A caso sabemos a lo que saben las perdices? A 3 euros el kilo en el Eroski, la cosa no pinta muy bien.
Mi cuento temrina con centollos y con una empanada de costillas. Y, por favor, nada de principes azules a lo Vidal Sason, en una armadura que ha quedado brillante a base de pulirla con un algodoncito y a escupitajos. A mi me va mas un famelico Ville Valo con su torre a la que me mudare con una furgo alquilada, que paso de pagar una fortuna a los de la compagnia de turno que siempre te extravian alguna caja. No hay recompensa que valga por mi coleccion de pelis, mis cd's de Rock, mis novelas o mi....Bueno Ville, no tengo mucho mas. Te salgo bastante compacta.
En esta sociedad hay cabida para todos los gustos. Para todo. Y es que, si no la hubiera, no existirian las ganas de plantarle cara a la realidad, en cuyo caso, alguna que otra vida dejaria de tener sentido.
No se si sentido es lo que nos sobra o de lo que carecemos, pero me gusta saber que en un rincon del mundo, hay crios que, aun sin comprenderlo por completo, lo tienen bien claro y saben hacer muy bien sus calculos.
Suegno con que nunca nada ni nadie cambie su rumbo.
Me gustaria que unos cuantos adultos por etsa parte del mundo compartiesen la pasion por una ecuacion tan simple de entender, pero tan dificil de llevar a puerto.
Supongo que es cuestion de fe. De fe y de vision en un mundo, ya no digo mejor, pero si distinto. Que tenemos que perder de todos modos? El big Size de McDonalds? Pensaba que Michael Moore lo habia despopularizado.Aunque supongo que hara falta mucho mas que una critica sarcastica y aguda para lavarnos el cerebro y limpiarlo de tanta baratija que nos vendireron por pura ganga.
Hemos convertido nuestros mercados de calidad en un todo a 100. Para que tanta fijacion con la apariencia, con los escandalos de los famosos, con los coches que solo nos llevan de un sitio a otro, con el ultimo grito en la pasarela Cibeles, con la boda de Pe y el divorcio de Maria de los Palotes? Oh! Sabiais ya que Geroge Clooney se casa? Me imagino que algun gay desquiciado estara tajandose las venas en este momento, no por el matrionio en si, sino por lo real de la evidencia: Masculinidad suprema que simplemente quiso disfrutar de la solteria.
Bueno, poniendole fin al cuento sin perdices, me imagino a gays y a descerebradas que en sus fueros muy internos ansiaban ser princesas. Dont worry babies...A caso sabemos a lo que saben las perdices? A 3 euros el kilo en el Eroski, la cosa no pinta muy bien.
Mi cuento temrina con centollos y con una empanada de costillas. Y, por favor, nada de principes azules a lo Vidal Sason, en una armadura que ha quedado brillante a base de pulirla con un algodoncito y a escupitajos. A mi me va mas un famelico Ville Valo con su torre a la que me mudare con una furgo alquilada, que paso de pagar una fortuna a los de la compagnia de turno que siempre te extravian alguna caja. No hay recompensa que valga por mi coleccion de pelis, mis cd's de Rock, mis novelas o mi....Bueno Ville, no tengo mucho mas. Te salgo bastante compacta.
En esta sociedad hay cabida para todos los gustos. Para todo. Y es que, si no la hubiera, no existirian las ganas de plantarle cara a la realidad, en cuyo caso, alguna que otra vida dejaria de tener sentido.
No se si sentido es lo que nos sobra o de lo que carecemos, pero me gusta saber que en un rincon del mundo, hay crios que, aun sin comprenderlo por completo, lo tienen bien claro y saben hacer muy bien sus calculos.
Suegno con que nunca nada ni nadie cambie su rumbo.
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Vuelvo a ti.
Quiero llegar a 1000, como Serezade.
Ya se que demasiado a menudo recurro a las mismas referencias que se repiten en estas lineas; se me escapan de mi imaginacion sin permiso, embusteras, pues casi nunca cuentan una verdad, aunque a veces traicionan mis secretos mas ocultos y los gritan a voces.
Ultimamente quiero que todo salga de dentro, quiero compartirlo conmigo misma, repetir los nombres en el vacio, en el silencio, y rescatarlos asi de la ficcion de mis creencias.
Tras una larga ausencia, regreso de nuevo a Londres, la ciudad que me enamoro desde la primera vez que la vi. Ella lo supo antes que yo: Estabamos echas la una para la otra.
Nos enamoramos rapidamente, locamente, como solo se puede estar cuando se esta enamorada y despues aprendimos a querernos mas sosegadamente, como tan bien saben hacer los amantes expertos.
Puede que sea demasiado tarde para culpar a nadie de mi no permanencia. Es hora de aceptar que soy un desastre, que no sirvo para pertenecer a nadie ni a nada; hay que asumir responsabilidades y aceptar que no quiero aceptar nada que me ate contra mi voluntad.
Cuando se cruzan los caminos, la decision nunca es facil.
A pesar de quererte como nunca, estoy aprendiendo a vivir sin ti. Todavia estamos juntas, pero te voy diciendo adios, o hasta pronto, para que cuando llegue el moemnto de despegar mis pies de tu suelo, mis vista no se gire hacia atras en tu busca.
Tu tienes un destino que cumplir. Debes darle a aquellos que te buscan lo que quieren de ti y de ellos mismos...Yo...No se...Ya te mandare una postal desde mi proximo destino diciendote cuanto te hecho de menos, contandote todas las cosas que encuentre en el camino.
Me ha atacado la fiebre del oro. Te dejo por el mundo que no vi, siguiendo una vision de mi misma que quiero confirmar y cuando consiga construir un puerto tan firme como el tuyo en mi interior, quizas vuelva a tus brazos. Porque solo entonces sabremos saborearnos sin tapujos o inseguridades.
Hasta entonces, dejame buscar ese yo....Al menos, dejame intentarlo.
Ya se que demasiado a menudo recurro a las mismas referencias que se repiten en estas lineas; se me escapan de mi imaginacion sin permiso, embusteras, pues casi nunca cuentan una verdad, aunque a veces traicionan mis secretos mas ocultos y los gritan a voces.
Ultimamente quiero que todo salga de dentro, quiero compartirlo conmigo misma, repetir los nombres en el vacio, en el silencio, y rescatarlos asi de la ficcion de mis creencias.
Tras una larga ausencia, regreso de nuevo a Londres, la ciudad que me enamoro desde la primera vez que la vi. Ella lo supo antes que yo: Estabamos echas la una para la otra.
Nos enamoramos rapidamente, locamente, como solo se puede estar cuando se esta enamorada y despues aprendimos a querernos mas sosegadamente, como tan bien saben hacer los amantes expertos.
Puede que sea demasiado tarde para culpar a nadie de mi no permanencia. Es hora de aceptar que soy un desastre, que no sirvo para pertenecer a nadie ni a nada; hay que asumir responsabilidades y aceptar que no quiero aceptar nada que me ate contra mi voluntad.
Cuando se cruzan los caminos, la decision nunca es facil.
A pesar de quererte como nunca, estoy aprendiendo a vivir sin ti. Todavia estamos juntas, pero te voy diciendo adios, o hasta pronto, para que cuando llegue el moemnto de despegar mis pies de tu suelo, mis vista no se gire hacia atras en tu busca.
Tu tienes un destino que cumplir. Debes darle a aquellos que te buscan lo que quieren de ti y de ellos mismos...Yo...No se...Ya te mandare una postal desde mi proximo destino diciendote cuanto te hecho de menos, contandote todas las cosas que encuentre en el camino.
Me ha atacado la fiebre del oro. Te dejo por el mundo que no vi, siguiendo una vision de mi misma que quiero confirmar y cuando consiga construir un puerto tan firme como el tuyo en mi interior, quizas vuelva a tus brazos. Porque solo entonces sabremos saborearnos sin tapujos o inseguridades.
Hasta entonces, dejame buscar ese yo....Al menos, dejame intentarlo.
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