Burn your wings. Burn baby, burn

Once again I am alone with my writing. I madly missed you. I needed you like an addict needs his doses of drug to keep on through a never ending second of pure agony. I was empty until I found you. My soul was a black hole floating in the nothingness of a colourless galaxy and then you came along like a start igniting it all with light. You rescue me from the sameness that falls upon the mortals like a biblical plague; you gave me to drink from you cup of lovely juices born in the valleys where the gods rest while they watch us perish buried in our own ambitions and desperations. I never desisted in my enterprise of conquering the world. In that we were closer friends, you and I. We played together through the years and the countries we were in. Through the lovers we had and they loved us back and through those who remained detached, aloof, not daring to enter the magical universe we shared. You watched me fall on my knees, praying for your return by the shore of rivers that never stop. By the shore of Oceans that wanted to try my pale skin, you came back to me in the shape of enormous waves that seemed to devour me. Where are you? You heard me calling for you in silent nights crowded by foreign noises. I searched you in the forest of trees which rumours I did not understand, in the drops of rain that drained my hair and soaked my feet. I longed to kiss your lips made of glorious honey when all around the sour taste of life seemed too horrible to endure. I dreamt of swimming naked in your arms of rhythms made of songs never written. And all the time you were right there, patiently waiting, but I just couldn’t see you. Now you came back to me. They heard my prayers. How long will you stay? Stay forever. Never let me go and I promise you I will worship every moment we spend together. I‘ll make you feel alive, young, wise; I’ll make you feel you are the one. I’ll give you my heart and soul for they were never mine at all. I am in love with you. That’s why I cannot be loved. There’s no space left…You have it all, you ruined me for this life and the next one, if such thing is meant to be. We understand each other in languages that do not exist and believe in us in a world that lacks faith to dare. We went to places none set foot before and we planted our presence in towers of hope and battlefields dried of blood. We walked the line few times, up and down, on the edge of chaos, in the limit of reason. We played with fire, burning our resistance only to come back like Phoenix from the flames of extasis. We tricked death and won at her in the last hand. We risked it all because we had nothing to lose. We had nothing to prove either. I guess we were as free as we could be. And now you are here once more. In this Danish night when all has gone to never come back. You returned to me to meet me in my lonely room empty of feelings and crowded with bags full of belongings that will find another home soon. You ask me to embrace you, to let us be one in order to forget and start all over again. You tell me to hold on to that stupid dream that comes and goes but never fades away completely. It’s 1am and I want to sleep, I want to ask Morpheus to be kind and let me rest in his mattress made of cotton and sugar, of dark and sort curly hair and tuned skin that brings me back to my childhood land. I ask him to give us peace to start from there where we left it. And so be it. We start a in a new world where lies have gained terrain over poetry, where white flags have been tainted with suspicion. I stopped pretending I was going to change it and I let them be free in their slavery while I try to find us a place where we can be us. We will succeed for the goal was never clearer. We have each other and accept us the way we are. I was a fool to let you down for those who were a reflection of your reality; they were mirrors of vanity, tasteless islands of passion, unfertile of beauty, deprived of the knowledge you always were so eager to present me with. I am sorry if I learnt nothing. I am sorry if I thought life could be better without the wonder you imposed me with. I am sorry to say sorry but I paid the price of my impertinence for not daring comes for free. I sold our precious soul no valuing its treasures and they gave me nothing in return. So you have to compose me again, like if I was a play without notes. You have to play me and make me sing, for I feel like a guitar with no wind. Cure me of this sadness that the world left me with. Give me back your love like oxygen entering slowly into this capsule of pain and bring me back to life where others let me there to die. Let’s defeat the darkness. You are my guiding light, my shelter in the cruelty of the snowy night and the implacable heat of the summer afternoon. I believe in you because through you I’ve always found my way back. If I am lost you show me the way. If I am broken, you fix me. If I am refused you tell me it is fine and open your arms where nothing bad can ever happen. You are all I have and more….You are the never ending promise of a better me. You are the world I see unfolding in front of my eyes that none else understands. How could I ever win you back? Come back to me like the first time you did when I was only a girl fascinated by your power and we started to learn each other like hungry lovers do, opening the doors of heaven, unveiling the secrets and truths we are made of. We broke few rules…until we decided not to have any. Come back to me, so I can have a sense, a will and a purpose. What’s this land with no names? Why are the holy places missing in this map of present sorrows? Why did we come here where the water is so still and the wind so furious? Let’s lay in this bed again where time is not allowed to enter. This nest is made for us. In here you taught me how to be a woman. I learnt you like a lesson from the school. The more I knew, the more I wanted you, the more I needed you, the higher I flew not caring for the fall that usually awakens all lovers. But I did not fall. You hold me tight, never letting go, making me stronger than I ever was. I suppose you gave me wings and stayed by my side to teach me how to use them. You gave them to me, so I could invent new skies for us. And I did, and I'll never stop doing it.